I started this a few weeks ago.
Well, the enemy (the devil) has been working overtime it seems. Last week, February 8, Trent and I went over to Missoula just to talk to the doctor (surgery was canceled for the 9th) since my sister was here and Trent had already taken the day off. The doctor came in the room and he looked very scary looking. He had gotten a pre-cancerous skin condtion since I had seen him last, just two and a half weeks before. He told us everything he would do to fix my condition and I just sat there in total fear (not realizing it at the time). My husband just took in all the facts and thought it was totally great! Oh my gosh, what a day of DIVISION.
So the next Tuesday, I went to prayer at church, got some godly counsel and realized how much the devil is trying to confuse me on this issue. The ENEMY is the master of schemes and trickery. I thought that doctor was the devil incarnate. Crazy!
Then on Thursday, Trent and I went to see an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor to get his opinion and he basically said if you feel comfortable with that doctor then do the surgery. Of course he said the cpap machine is the "gold standard", but the "gold standard" doesn't even help me. So much to tell, but long story short, surgery is on for March 1, at 8 a.m., mountain time. I am having a different anesthesiologist, maybe that's a good thing, since the other guy seemed a little intimidating.
My sister said she was going to bring out this pillow that said, "Put on your big girl panties, and DEAL WITH IT". Sometimes we have to do that in life.
Well, it's now March 4 and I don't even want to tell you about last week. Got my sister to come all the way from ND and then I get a cold as she is coming out here. I don't think she'll come out the third time I'll try to do the surgery! The twins are still getting their last molar in, so they definately need momma right now, and I still needed time to prepare. I don't really want to wait a whole other month, but c'est la vie. Surgery is scheduled for April, 6, 2011.
My friend called me today and read me part of Job 5. Something about, "as sure as a spark comes out of a fire, there will be suffering in life." This season will pass, and I will look back and see how God held me through it. I've been thinking of my mom and dad lately, that are both with the Lord. At my mom's funeral, my brother and sister-in-law sang the song from the old Charlotte Web movie, "Chin up". It's a cute song that says, "I'll be on the right side, looking on the bright side..." It's a hard thing when you're in the midst of the valley, but we need to hold on and be thankful for the bright side!
"Hold fast, help is on the way, hold fast, He's come to save the day. What I've learned in my life, one thing greater than my strife, is His grasp, so hold fast." -Mercy me
